You have Cancer...

How can I explain this? How can I begin to tell you what I have felt or had to overcome these past few months and year. There are moments where I sit and cry. There are moments I am so strong and confident, no one would even no my body is at war with itself.

I never thought I would hear the words, Mrs. Campbell, You have cancer." I vividly remember being alone at the office that particular day and thank God no one had a loan appointment set up. My heart literally sank and that terrible feeling you get in the pit of your stomach was unbareable. I was trying listen to the details and pay attention, but really I just wanted to stay strong enough to maybe ask one appropriate question and hang up to process it all. I remember just shaking. The wave of loneliness rushed over me taking my breath away.

I sat in silence and disbelief for an half hour before calling my husband and a childhood friend. I never in my life felt so helpless and vulnerable before. I felt the presence of God wash over me and asked for him to embrace me tight. He did. He is a good good Father like that.

Fast foreword, after total thyroidectmy, endless doctor appointments, 2 radioactive iodine treatments......missed vacations, time off of work, faith stretched- I am just now after a year of this wirlwind, getting to a point I can breathe a bit. People don't realize that after a diagnosis, it isn't just lying around getting better! It is a FULL TIME job researching, being your own advocate and finding your new normal. It's walking into work each day with bones that ache, muscles on fire and dark circles under your eyes from insomnia. It's trying to explain why you don't understand simple directions because your memory and brain fog ate wreaking havoic on your brain.

Its the constant reminder to take my pill and making sure I get it to maximum absorption. Since I no longer have my thyroid organ( you cant survive without the organ or a replacement) you will die. No ifs and or buts about it. Its freaking scary yall. If I forget a pill, drink caffine or take supplements before the pill has had time to try to work, all hell breaks loose in this body of mine. Some days my body needs more thyroid hormone than others, and I dont get that luxury of producing it on my own....so I am out of luck:(

Ok- I started to rant, do you see how life challenges can steal your joy? I'm human and this season of my life is hard. It is not fair. Living life with cancer is beyond any blog I could write.

However-

When you you go through this you are thoroughly tested, both mentally and physically. You become stronger and now know what you’re capable of. Surviving cancer is a major accomplishment and will result in a continuous growth of your inner strength. I would never wish a cancer diagnosis on anyone; However, I am a better person as a result of my cancer.

I've clung to Jesus more than ever and learned to lean on my family and friends for support. We truly can't do this life alone and quite frankly, I'm not sure how some can do it without the Lord!

What are you facing right now that is completely changing your life? Don't battle alone! Find support with family, social media groups or write me!

You are not alone in this. You can find joy amisdt the everyday and challenges you face! I believe in you. I love you! I'm always praying for you!

Find JOY in all things,

Joyful Julie

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